“We suffer more in imagination than we do in reality” – SenecaTweet
Self love and care needs to be prioritized in these times. If you feel like you are overwhelmed, overcome with feelings of insecurities, doubt, anxiety, you can use the following techniques to find balance and feel more calm. Focus on self love. Focus on self care. Trust yourself.
Self Love and Self Care Tips
The first thing you need to be able to do is let go of fears. Think of all the things you are afraid of, write them out, and then recognize some of they may not be logical.
The Fear of Being Ourselves:
Last week I gave a presentation to roughly 140 people on a zoom call under the premise of “what has living in hospitals really taught me about self love.” It was a message of hope, during our most trying of times. And hope comes from confronting our fears.
There’s 2 core fears for all humans. When you look back at your list, you will find we are afraid we are not going to be loved and we are fearful we are not enough. All our fears, boil down to those two universal truths.
My friends, there’s good news today. We are loved. We are enough. And we also need to make sure to prioritize self love and care.
“But coach, not with my flaws! If you saw how my health is in shambles, or how I’ve been a bad parent or spouse, and if you only saw me for who I really was —-” … you may be thinking.
And I know that thought all too well, because I’ve been there. I’ve been where I hate who I am because of my looks, cystic fibrosis, my wifey skills. I question whether I am enough, doing enough, have enough, being enough. I question what enough really even means!
And then one day, I got over my story in my head about who it was I thought I needed to be and felt relief knowing, I am who I need to be already.
And here’s a technique for self love and care that I learned over the years.
I spent a few moments collecting my thoughts and focusing on my breath.
Watch this video.
Now you may begin to realize you do not have to live with the thoughts that do not serve you.
And you’ll begin to think: if I am enough already, then there is hope regardless of circumstances. If we all believe we are not enough or are unloved, we also simultaneously have hope that we are perfect in who we are already. We can be both. And then I just needed to choose the thought that served my goals. And that thought was that I am who I am because someone needed me to be myself. I can’t help people if I’m not myself and don’t believe in my own worth. And helping others was why I had to go through what I went through.Klyn Elsbury, I AM
And for you, there’s a primal thought that helps guide you to go through what you need to go through. There’s a future on the other side better than the negative thoughts that you have. Choose that future.
Be gracious with yourself when the voice in your head shares the fear that you’re not enough or that you’re not loved. Recognize everyone feels this from time to time. When in the middle of these thoughts, take the time to do something to take care of yourself. The reason flight attendants tell you to put your oxygen mask on first, is because it saves lives.
Journal 10 things you can do to take care of yourself and proactively put that in your calendar to do (related: journal prompts for self discovery). Allow yourself grace during this time. Treat yourself like you would your best friend. Because if you have to spend your entire life with that voice in your head, make it a great voice.
You are loved,
You are appreciated.
I am grateful for you.
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